to be very honest.

yesterday was the worst day of my life of being an exostans. bc, rumours about kris leaving exo was totally mental breakdown. my whole day became all kris, i couldn't stop thinking about him, even when im chatting with my boyfie. im totally selfish right. then i stopped everything bc i didn't wanna hurt anymore, but when i stopped, i started to thought abt kris like, what's going on, and what's the boys post on ig and weibo. so i decided to seeking the information again and again. and it was hurt me a lot. even when i went to sleep, my dream was just abt his case, HIM, and EXO. i couldn't stopped it anyway. and i started today with a very very mixed mood. i didn't knew whether i had to happy bc i met my friends or i had to sad bc of kris. but the end of the day, it was different. actually, i had plan with my boyfie to met, but in a whole day, im not met him anyway. so i asked him to picked me up, and maybe we can talk a while. then... TADA! he picked me up. he took me home safely, and went back to my friend's house to took his carriage. i didn't know, but that several minutes has make my world brighter. i feel very very happy until now. even when im reading a post about kris, im not as sad as yesterday. today he's my saver. al, eventhough im a fangirl, doesn't mean im not happy with you. yes im thinking about my idol, but you know, they're not in my real life, they're all just my idol, not more. they're not my love. they're absolutely different with you. you always here for me, but they're not. that's why, even you're mad at me about them, i never mad back at you, just bc i love you. really really much. thanks for today, and i love you so much more than my idol.

habis un.

habis un. iya judulnya juga habis un pasti bebas kan ya. tinggal berdoa aja buat hasil terbaiknya, strugglenya udah selesai. emang dari kata katanya kayak udah kerasa bebas, tapi ada beberapa hal yang ngganjel buatku. oke, sore ini berawal dari sekedar nanya dan ujungnya jadi balikan. entahlah itu mau dinamain balikan ato bukan. aku gatau apa yang lewat dipikiranku sama dia, kok bisa bisanya langsung gitu aja gaada apa apa. aku juga ngeraguin hal ini sebenernya, tapi ya yang udah ya udah aja. oke, intinya jalanin aja. let's see.